So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We left the knife in your bed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
