She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
