Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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