You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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