so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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