Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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