She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just pee around me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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