Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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