We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
