it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Drake has all the answers
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
