its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
