3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Your face is a jimmy john
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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