Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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