Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
