He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
