i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
be right there i have to get my cape
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
