Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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