drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize