you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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