Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
