I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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