I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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