Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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