I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
