i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
