We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
