I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just took my morning after pill in the library
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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