I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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