Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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