i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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