How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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