You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
