Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
