haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
