Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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