Christians are straight up FREAKS
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
