Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
