is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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