Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
