Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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