Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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