Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
