just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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