its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
