I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
