i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
