Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You don't make any sense
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