Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
