put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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