So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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