took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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