there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
