KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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