We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
