great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
