Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
